Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Hessen im Weltall

hessen im weltall 2neu

Mit dieser erstaunlichen Kampagne versucht die HESSENAGENTUR die bundesdeutsche Bevölkerung auf das Faszinosum „HESSEN“ aufmerksam zu machen. Ein Plakat von wahrhaft außerirdischer Schönheit.Ah, nein, sorry, das war das falsche Bild.

Das richtige, echte Plakat ist das:

hessen im weltall 2

Okay… Auch nicht übel. Wobei nicht ganz so stimmig wie unsere FGZ-Version, oder? Denn was wollen die zweifellos Kreativen von der HESSENAGENTUR uns EIGENTLICH mit dieser Text-Bildkomposition sagen? Dass Hessen hinter dem Mond liegt? Oder dass man, um an Hessen vorbeizukommen, einen Schlenker über Omega III machen muss, obwohl es doch dazu völlig ausreicht, die A61 zu nehmen? Nein, Halt, sie bieten uns den aus Hessen stammenden Astronauten Thomas Reiter als Identifikationsfigur an! Denn von Hessen aus kommt man vielleicht nicht in die Welt, aber zumindest ins Weltall. Wenn man Glück hat. This is THE COOL KIND OF OURTSOURCING! Hey, früher, zu Zeiten von our very own Johann Wolfgang Goethe and his friend Friedrich Schiller verkauften die hessischen Landesherren ihre arbeitslosen Landeskinder noch in das damals ferne Amerika (vgl. Kabale und Liebe und so weiter)… Und wir erinnern uns: Im Sommer 2006 telefonierte our very own Angela Merkel und our very VERY own Roland Koch mit dem hessischen Thomas Reiter im nach wie vor weitgehend nichthessischen Weltall. Das Telefonat laut Nachrichtensender “Phoenix” im Wortlaut:

„Angela Merkel:
Haben Sie denn auch Zeit gehabt ein bisschen Gitarre zu spielen?

Thomas Reiter:
Dafür war bisher leider wenig Zeit, aber ich habe die Gitarre immerhin schon gestimmt. Eine Saite die gerissen war, habe ich schon ersetzt. Aber ich muss gestehen, seit das Shuttle abgedockt hat, hatte ich noch nicht soviel Zeit. Man muss sich ja erstmal häuslich einrichten und schauen, dass man weiß, wo was verstaut ist.

Angela Merkel:
Wie klappt es mit dem Schlafen?

Thomas Reiter:
Wunderbar. Man kann ja nicht in dem Sinne auf dem Rücken, auf der Seite oder auf dem Bauch schlafen. Wenn man Probleme hat einzuschlafen, kann man statt Schäfchen zu zählen diese Lichtblitze zählen.

Angela Merkel:
Ich glaube Sie schlafen zurzeit besser als man in Deutschland schläft, denn bei uns ist es seit sechs Wochen unglaublich warm.

Thomas Reiter:
Zum einen freut mich das natürlich für die Leute, die einen schönen Sommer genießen wollen. Zum anderen ist das für uns eine tolle Gelegenheit Bilder von Deutschland zu machen. Ich hatte in den vergangenen Tagen bereits die Gelegenheit Bilder von Frankfurt und natürlich meiner Geburtsstadt Neu-Isenburg zu machen.

Angela Merkel:
Das ist prima. Ich wünsche Ihnen jedenfalls für die kommenden Tage und Wochen keine Langeweile, aber die haben Sie ja nicht. „

Ein prima Gespräch. Nein,das ist nicht fiktiv. Solche Dialoge kommen nur in der Realität zustande. Aber nur, wenn Hessen in der Realität ins Weltall fliegen. Alles, was Hessen angesichts der Unendlichkeit einfällt ist, zu schauen, wo was verstaut ist, Gitarre zu spielen ( „Ich bin der goldene Reiter“), Lichtblitze zu zählen und Neu-Isenburg zu fotografieren. Hauptsache: keine Langeweile zu haben, „aber die haben sie ja nicht“ , wie die Bundeskanzlerin zu Recht mutmaßt. Hmm,vielleicht sollten Hessen und Nichthessen in Hessen sich doch andere Identifikationsfiguren suchen als Thomas Reiter. Oder als die, die uns die Hessenagentur neben „Hessen Pralinen“ und „Hessen Häppchen“ schmackhaft machen möchte. Wie wäre es mit “DEM HESSEN“ aus Tim Burtons „Sleepy Hollow“, der im Amerika des 18. Jahrhunderts Angst und Schrecken verbreitete? Also zu der Zeit, als Hessen die Landeskinder, die keine ARBEITSPLÄTZE fanden, als unfreiwillige Söldner verkaufte? Der Hesse war ein echter Exportschlager. Auch ein guter Reiter, sogar ohne Kopf. Und er hatte Biss.

christopher-walken-


166 Kommentare zu “Hessen im Weltall”

  1. dorothea löbbermann

    genial! ich bin gespannt, ob dir zu den anderen bildern der werbekampagne auch etwas einfällt (CHALLENGE!). ich schau grad die 70er-jahre-TV-serie “der winter, der ein sommer war,” die die nordhessische region um kassel so verärgert hat, weil die ureinwohner dort *frankfurterisch* reden! in kassel! altenabauna! in bad karlshafen! ein skandal, damals wie heute. das schaut man sich doch lieber mit weltraum-distanz an.

  2. Christian Dombrowski

    Ein wunderbares Gespräch zwischen Himmel und Erde, ich hatte mich an seiner ziellosen Poesie schon erfreut, als ich es zum ersten Mal las. Glückwunsch zu diesem unirdisch schönen Beitrag!

  3. Hessenfinder

    Das ist überirdisch – selbst für Hessen ^^ Klasse, weiter so! Wenn das keine moderne Poesie ist!

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