Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Frankfurt Oder! Reportagen aus dem anderen Frankfurt Teil 5

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Am 26.2.2010 fragte die Märkische Oderzeitung, die Regionalzeitung von Frankfurt/Oder, ihre Online-Leser: Warum, glauben Sie, sinkt die Zahl der Unfalltoten stetig? „Ich weiß es nicht,“ antworteten 12 Prozent der Leser. 20 Prozent sagten: „Weil die Zahl der jungen Leute sinkt.“ Ich finde, das sind zwei sehr traurige Antworten (die Mehrzahl der Leser antwortete übrigens: „Die Autos werden sicherer.“ Ob das einen fröhlicher stimmen soll, weiß ich nicht). Besonders traurig ist die, die den Rückgang der Unfalltoten mit dem Rückgang von jungen Leuten begründet. Keine jungen Kamikaze-Kleists rasen mehr betrunkenen Kopfes gegen Alleebäume; nicht, weil die jungen Leute inzwischen weniger saufen und dem Leben positiver gegenüberstehen, sondern weil sie gar nicht erst geboren, beziehungsweise bereits weggezogen sind. Keine jungen Leute pflastern mehr das Pflaster des Oderlandes. Es gibt einfach kaum noch junge Leute in Frankfurt und Umgebung. Ein paar fläzen sich auf den Treppen der Viadrina, ein paar rotten sich zu Heimatfronten zusammen, aber sonst: goodbye Frankfurt, Oder und Umgebung.

Wo die jungen Leute wohl hingehen? Gehen sie, wenn sie geschlechtsreif werden, auf Partnersuche, vielleicht in den Partnerstädten der Stadt ? In der letzten Folge berichtete ich ja kurz von der Städtepartnerschaft zwischen Frankfurt und Heilbronn. Ich glaube allerdings nicht, dass viele der jungen Leute nach Heilbronn gehen. Vielleicht gehen sie ja nach Nimes in Frankreich oder nach Yuma in Arizona (nur die hartnäckigsten Selbstmörder unter ihnen werden nach Vantaa in Finnland ziehen). In Yuma gibt es immerhin einen Bahnhof und ein berühmtes Gefängnis , wie wir aus den beiden Filmen mit dem Titel „3:10 to Yuma“ wissen. Und mit Yuma hat Frankfurt/Oder etwas, was Frankfurt/Main nicht hat: eine US-amerikanische Partnerstadt. Ich rufe Frankfurt/Main: Hab ich das richtig recherchiert? Habt ihr wirklich keine US-amerikanische Partnerstadt? Nur eine in Kanada? Kanada ist natürlich cool, aber USA muss doch sein, oder?

Frankfurt/Main ruft zurück: aber dafür gibt’s all diese Frankfurts in den USA! Und, ruft Landloper , das Frankfurt an der Steinach! Aber ich sage: Freunde, nun mal langsam. Klar, Landloper, das Karpfenessen an der Steinach steht noch aus. Wirkt dieses winzige fränkische Frankfurt nicht wie ein reizvoller Putzerfisch angesichts der großen, alles verschlingenden Mainmetropole? Und ein Frankfurt in Franken ist wirklich bemerkenswert. Frankfurt/Oder zum Beispiel hat weder Franken in der Nähe, noch eine Furt, Frankfurt/Steinach dagegen wahrscheinlich beides. Ich werde mich in einem sonnigen Karpfenmonat mit r drum kümmern. Aber was die vielen Frankfurts in den USA angeht, so muss ich euch alle enttäuschen: Trugschluss! Das einzige, was es in den USA gibt, sind Frankforts. Aber darüber mehr in der nächsten Korrespondenz dieser Korrespondentin. Die Unfalltoten Frankfurts allerdings ruhen weder in Frankfort noch in Yuma. Zumindest jene, die in der guten alten Zeit an einem Alleebaum starben, liegen heute in der Überzahl im märkischen Sand. Jene ungeborenen aber, die mag es wohl als Geister über den Ozean geweht haben.

Foto: Anglerforum

Foto: Anglerforum


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