Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Die kürzesten Geschichten der Welt

Alles zu seiner Zeit

Als Professor F. die Hausarbeiten seiner Studenten korrigierte, fiel ihm bei dem vielversprechenden Studenten B. auf, dass dieser eine interessante These vertrat, allerdings ohne sie entsprechend zu belegen. Er rief den Studenten zu sich und sagte ihm, dass es ihm Leid täte, aber ohne Angabe einer Quelle müsse er dies negativ bewerten.

Der Student musste zugeben, dass er die These selbst entwickelt hatte und dass sie bisher nicht bewiesen sei. Anderenfalls wäre sie auch keine These sondern eine Tatsache.

Der Professor entgegnete, dass er als Student in der Wissenschaft niemals ernst genommen würde, wenn er Thesen aufstelle ohne sie beweisen zu können.

Da fragte ihn der Student, ob denn nicht jeder Beweis erst einmal aus einer unbewiesenen These hervorgegangen sei.

Mit wissendem und leicht bitterem Gesichtsausdruck antwortete der Professor ihm, dass er erst lernen solle, was bereits bewiesen wurde, bevor er auf Grundlage dieser Beweise neue Thesen aufstellen könne.

Der Student hatte verstanden, lernte und studierte, recherchierte und zitierte bis er eines Tages selbst Professor wurde. Doch da fielen ihm keine interessanten neuen Thesen mehr ein.

Der Faulenzer

Unteroffizier G. trug den Rekruten S. und K. auf, einen Lagerraum aufzuräumen. Als er wiederkam, sah er, dass der Lagerraum perfekt aufgeräumt und geputzt war. Er lobte die beiden Rekruten dafür.

Da erhob S. das Wort und sagte: „Ich habe alles alleine machen müssen. Der K. hat nur die ganze Zeit mit den Händen in den Taschen herumgestanden.“

Der Unteroffizier antwortete: „Dafür laufen Sie beide zwanzig Runden um den Exerzierplatz! K. weil Sie so faul herumgestanden haben und Sie, Soldat S., weil Sie Ihren Kameraden verpetzt haben.“

Katastrophenwarnsystem

Herr V. lebte mit seiner Familie und seinem Hund als Fischer in einem Haus an der Küste. Schon oft hatte es dort gefährliche Springfluten gegeben, doch immer hatte sein Hund dies zuerst bemerkt und ihn gewarnt.

Einmal war der Hund extrem unruhig.

Da packte der Herr V. seine Sachen und weckte seine Familie um mit ihnen in die Hügel zu flüchten. Doch kaum hatte die Familie ihre Sachen gepackt und die Tür geöffnet, rannte der Hund hinaus und besprang eine läufige Hündin.

Jugendträume

Die Eheleute J. steckten viel Geld und Mühe in die Erziehung und Ausbildung ihres Sohnes, doch dieser wollte immer nur Künstler werden. Eines Tages zog er aus und kam nie wieder.

Künstler wurde er zwar nicht, aber mit seinem Job als Filialleiter einer Supermarktkette ist er inzwischen nicht unzufrieden.


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