Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Noi noi noi – verschdaaschd mi nedderd? Teil 1

schwäbisch3
Ich habe es ja selbst so gewollt oder vielleicht mich auch wollen lassen, wie auch immer – ich sitze jetzt „ebbelwoi“ – vermissend im Schwabenland und wundere mich täglich.

Eigentlich dachte ich immer, dass die Sachsen aufgrund ihres Dialektes schlecht zu verstehen sind – doch weit gefehlt – es sind definitiv die Schwaben und das mit einer Ruhe und Gelassenheit, die einen hektischen Hessen auf Apfelweinentzug zum Wahnsinn treiben kann.

Dem ersten Irrglauben, dem ich erlegen war:

Geschwind kommt von Geschwindigkeit?

Lieber Leser – NEIN! Das beliebteste schwäbische Wort „geschwind“ oder in der Sparvariante „g’schwind“ hat definitiv nichts mit Geschwindigkeit zu tun. Das musste ich zu Beginn meiner Schwabenzeit zweifach erfahren und beim zweiten Mal sehr schmerzlich.

Beim ersten Mal sagte der Makler in der Wohnung: „So, dann gehen wir mal geschwind ins Wohnzimmer“. Noch vom Irrglauben geleitet, dieses Wort hätte etwas mit Geschwindigkeit zu tun, wartete ich. Und ich wartete und wartete und wartete. Es passierte nichts, rein gar nichts. Gefühlte 3 Stunden später fragte ich dann den Wohnungsvermittler, wann denn dieses „geschwind“ anfängt. Der grinste nur und setzte sich in Zeitlupe in Richtung Wohnzimmer in Bewegung. Da war mir irgendwie klar, das kann nichts mit Geschwindigkeit zu tun haben.

Die zweite und schmerzliche Erfahrung mit dem Wort „geschwind“ hatte ich, als ich mit einer Gruppe Menschen zu Gast in einem schwäbischen Restaurant war und wir im Außenbereich saßen. Als wir diesen um 22 Uhr gut gelaunt noch nicht verlassen hatten, rief die Bedienung –anstatt uns höflich zu bitten, doch zu gehen – kurzerhand die Polizei. Schwäbische Sperrstunde mit staatlicher Unterstützung. Als dann der Kollege in grün (blau sind sie nur in Hessen) uns doch bat geschwind nachhause zu gehen, sagte ich, dass wir dann ja wohl noch sitzen bleiben könnten, da beim schwäbischen geschwind stundenlang erstmal nichts passiert. BUMS. Das war offensichtlich nicht nett … die Menschen um mich herum konnten den freundlichen Beamten nur durch sofortiges Aufstehen und tausenden von Entschuldigungen davon überzeugen, mich jetzt nicht wegen Beamtenbeleidigung festzunehmen. Da hätte ich mich also fast wegen meiner unzureichenden Schwäbischkenntnisse in staatlich Obhut begeben. Hier herrscht nämlich Ordnung und geschwind hat nichts mit Geschwindigkeit zu tun.

Das nächste Mal berichte ich gerne wo hier gesessen wird und was schwäbische Post-its sind.

Meine Lieben, ich verspreche Euch, jetzt wird „zurückgefrankfurtert!“


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