Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Die Trompeten von Jericho

Vuvuzela

Eigentlich war ich ja von Anfang an ein Gegner der nervigen WM-Plastiktröte, die unter dem klangvollen Namen Vuvuzela verkauft wird.

Ich hielt sie für eine weitere degenerierte Ausgeburt des nationalistischen WM-Hypes, der hoffentlich möglichst bald vorüber sein möge.

Inzwischen denke ich aber ernsthaft über die Anschaffung eines solchen Terrorinstrumentes nach.

Zuerst kam mir dieser Gedanke nach der Niederlage der deutschen Nationalmannschaft gegen Serbien. Wäre es nicht ein erhebender Augenblick gewesen im Moment der deutschen Schmach ein Stückchen herzerfrischender afrikanischer Lebensfreude in die Gemüter der enttäuschten Landsleute zu tröten?

Ich glaube, ich könnte mit so einer Vuvuzela durchaus meinen Spaß haben.

Schließlich ist dieses Instrument auf dem besten Wege, eine Ächtung auch unter eingefleischten Fußballfans zu erfahren. In einigen Städten ist das Krawallplastik auf den öffentlichen Public-Viewing-Areas verboten worden und auf Facebook haben Fußballfans inzwischen eine Anti-Vuvuzela-Gruppe gegründet.

Denn der Deutsche will sich ja angepsst freuen, also in Reih und Glied jubeln. Oder er freut sich intellektuell abgeklärt zusammen mit der Frankfurter Rundschau und dem 11Freunde-Magazin.

Zu viel Krawall hingegen stört den Deutschen beim Dichten und Denken, wie schon Arthur Schopenhauer feststellte, als er sich bitterst über das Peitschenknallen der Kutscher beklagte.

Ärzteverbände warnen indessen vor zu befürchtenden Hörschäden, da der Lärm eines solchen Gerätes mühelos 130 Dezibel erreichen kann.

Aus diesem Grunde kann ich den Vuvuzelas durchaus einen subversiven Aspekt abgewinnen. Sie sind nämlich ein ideales Mittel, um Anschläge auf die Nachtruhe und damit die Leistungsfähigkeit der berufstätigen Bevölkerung zu verüben.

Wer weiß? Vielleicht könnte eine Gruppe engagierter und überzeugter Chaoten mit Hilfe der Vuvuzela sogar das Bruttosozialprodukt senken.

So könnte die Vuvuzela zu der Waffe werden, die die Mauern des christlichen Abendlandes so erschüttert, wie einst Joshuas Posaunen die Mauern der Stadt Jericho.

In diesem Sinne, angelehnt an einen Aufkleber der Bild-Zeitung:

Nationalwahn? ICH HUP EUCH WAS!


196 Kommentare zu “Die Trompeten von Jericho”

  1. abadon

    ja lasst uns vuvuzelas kaufen
    und amok durch die gassen laufen,
    das ist was deutsche seelen brauchen
    und neo-libs sich die haare raufen.

    gute idee

  2. Kuckuck

    Deutsche Seelen, deutsche Tröten
    sind einander sehr vonnöten.
    Schließlich liebt selbst Uwe Seeler
    seine kleine Vuvuzela.

    Döööööööööööööööööö

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