Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

666 News- Die Presseschau des Satans

dear friends of fucking hell,welcome to 666-News. Long time no see…das ist kein Vorwurf, denn ich weiß, dass ihr untergründig wirkt, gerade in dieser dunklen, trüben Zeit des Jahres, wo wir auf den Geburtstag dessen zusteuern, dessen Namen nicht genannt werden darf. Heute bekam ich den unwiderlegbaren Beweis Eures Wirkens. Auf S. 1. der BILD “BENEDIKT XVI., GANZ PRIVAT: ICH, DER PAPST.” Dazu ein Foto über fast die ganze Seite. Herrlich! Das kann man nicht toppen. Das beste, was ich gelesen habe seit der Überschrift 2007 in WELTonline: “Der Papst trägt auch zu Hause immer weiß.” Guys and girls: ich, der ich auch zu Hause immer schwarz trage, WEIß, ihr habt noch mehr auf der Pfanne! Spannt sie nicht länger auf die Folter-oder vielmehr doch-tut genau das! Gebt ihnen die Plakataktion an jeder Litfaßsäule: “Eure Heiligkeit, ihre Meinung zu BILD?” “Ich glaube: die liest auch der da oben.” Das müsste doch in der 52. Kalenderwoche zu schaffen sein. Außerdem ist er jetzt nicht mehr in jedem Fall gegen Kondome, hab ich gelesen…Mein Gott! Who the fucking cares. Wir, in den maßgebenden Kirchensteuerzahlenden Regionen der Erde,  wichsen doch sowieso alle nur noch vor Bildschirmen.
Kurzfristig missgestimmt hat mich hingegen ein Beitrag in FAZnet. Da stand tatsächlich drin, dass die Hilfe für Irland eigentlich nur darin besteht, dass die Banken schon wieder die Banken retten. Aber mit dem Geld aller übrigen. Wohlgemerkt: Das, was eigentlich selbstverständlich ist, wurde kritisiert. Und so was steht in der Onlineausgabe der FAZ! Ich frage: Was ist da los?

Hingegen fand ich es köstlich, dass die Regierung in Irland gegen die Krise kostenlos 53 Tonnen Cheddar-Käse an die Bevölkerung  verteilt, während gleichzeitig die Sozialleistungen gekürzt werden. Beliar, das war Deine Idee, oder?  Ich liebe diese katholischen Länder! Und da gabs ein Jahrhundert lang die IRA … Smile, irish folks. Make: Cheese! you sheeps…
Hat jemand von Euch den neuen Harry Potter gesehen? Ich habe mir gedacht, den schaue ich mir noch an, bevor im allerletzten Teil alles RICHTIG scheiße wird und die Guten gewinnen. Was ist mit den gefakten Hermionepornos im Netz? Gibts da was neues?

Viele haben mich nach einem Musiktipp für unsere Weihnachtsfeier gefragt . Hier ist er: “Lithium” von Nirwana, in der Interpretation von Polyphonic Spree. Klar werden Puristen jetzt wieder die Nase rümpfen; denen sei mitgeteilt, dass Kurt kürzlich selbst zu mir sagte, dass DAS ein cooles Cover ist.


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