Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Schützt den Linkskonservativen

Bestimmt werde ich ihn in Zukunft in meinen Texten verlachen, schmähen und manchmal auch beschimpfen und doch möchte ich hiermit sagen:
Es ist alles nicht so bös gemeint!

Eigentlich mag ich ihn ja doch, den Linkskonservativen.

Der typische Linkskonservative hat einen überdurchschnittlichen Bildungsgrad und liest Tageszeitungen aus Pflichtgefühl. Am besten mehrere davon und wenn er sie nicht liest, so kauft er sie wenigstens, denn er würde es schrecklich bedauern, wenn die guten alten Printmedien durch das oberflächliche Internet ins Abseits gerieten.

So etwas wäre ihm schließlich zu viel Veränderung und der Linkskonservative hat erkannt, dass Veränderung etwas grundsätzlich Negatives ist.
Denn jede gesellschaftliche Veränderung kennt nicht nur Gewinner, sondern auch Verlierer.

Und das Herz des Linkskonservativen schlägt mit den Verlierern:
Wenn der grünrotgetüpfelte Pappelrindenkäfer durch den Bau einer ICE-Trasse eines seiner letzten fünfzig Habitate in Europa zu verlieren droht, dann darf die ICE-Trasse eben nicht gebaut werden.
Da würde der Linkskonservative sich am liebsten an eine Pappel ketten, aber inzwischen ist er dafür zu häuslich geworden.
Ein wütender Leserbrief tut es schließlich auch.

Der typische Linkskonservative ist leicht zu schocken, zeigt es aber nicht gerne nach außen um nicht als spießig zu gelten.
Davor als spießig zu gelten, hat er Angst.

Überhaupt hat der Linkskonservative etwas mit dem Rechtskonservativen gemeinsam:
Beide haben Angst vor Veränderung und doch gibt es dramatische Unterschiede darin, wie sich die Angst vor Veränderung ausprägt und welche Schlüsse aus ihr gezogen werden.

Der Rechtskonservative lehnt grundsätzlich alles ab, was er nicht kennt oder was irgendwie anders läuft, als er es selbst machen würde. Wenn auf der Sprache jemand eine Fremdsprache spricht, denkt sich der Rechtskonservative „Warum muss der hier fremdländisch reden? Ich spreche doch auch nur Deutsch.“.
Wenn jemand eine bunte Frisur oder ein Piercing hat, denkt sich der Rechtskonservative „Warum muss der so aussehen? Ich sehe doch auch normal aus.“.
Und wenn die Nachbarn indisch kochen, beschwert sich der Rechtskonservative über den Geruch. Sein Schweinebraten mit Rosenkohl würde ja schließlich auch nicht stinken, ohne zu merken, dass dies reine Ansichtssache ist.

Der Linkskonservative hingegen hätte eigentlich kein Problem mit Neuerungen, sofern durch diese nichts liebgewonnenes Altes zerstört wird. Da dies aber fast immer der Fall ist, ist auch der Linkskonservative veränderungsfeindlich.
Wenn auf einem brachliegenden Grundstück Wohnhäuser errichtet werden sollen, wird der Linkskonservative protestieren, denn er fürchtet um die schöne Wildblumenwiese, die inzwischen dort gewachsen ist.
Wenn die Sanierung eines nahegelegenen Spielplatzes droht, ein paar ansässige Junkies zu vertreiben, wird sich der Linkskonservative mit einer Unterschriftenaktion gegen die Sanierung wenden.
Und wo immer etwas alt, verstaubt, hässlich, gammelig oder unmodern ist, wird sich ein Linkskonservativer finden, der es als schützenswert empfindet.
Das kann manchmal ganz schön nerven…

ABER:
Ist nicht ein Zeitgenosse, der gerne für das Unmoderne und Schrullige kämpft, der ein Herz für Junkies und grünrotgetüpfelte Pappelrindenkäfer hat, viel sympathischer, als einer der sich über das indische Essen seiner Nachbarn beschwert?

Vielleicht bin ich ja selbst irgendwo im Herzen ein Linkskonservativer, denn ich finde den Linkskonservativen mindestens genauso schützenswert, wie eine Streuobstwiese oder einen gammeligen Sackbahnhof.


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