Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Die Revolution leben! Studieren bei LIDL

Lidl
Der Konzern LIDL ist für sein erfrischend unideologisches Management und seine kreativen Ansätze in der Mitarbeiterführung allgemein bekannt. Außerdem erfüllt er eine wichtige gesellschaftliche Aufgabe: Er versorgt die armen Massen mit günstigen Schweine-Minutensteaks, erschwinglichem PET-Bier und allerlei anderen nützlichen Produkten.

Als antielitäres Bollwerk verteidigt LIDL die Versorgung der unteren Gesellschaftsschichten gegen die Diktatur der Qualität, die Machtübernahme der LOHAS und die Seuche der sogenannten „corporate responsibility“.

Nun leistet LIDL einen weiteren, unschätzbaren Beitrag im Kampf für die allgemeine Proletarisierung gegen Standesdünkel und Elitendenken.

Denn man kann nun bei LIDL nicht nur einkaufen, arbeiten und Pfand wegbringen, sondern endlich auch studieren. Ein wahrhaft bedeutender Schlag gegen die Glaspaläste althergebrachter Fakultäten, gegen den Mief jahrhundertealter  akademischer Pfründe und studentische Burschentraditionen. Diese werden von den Massen der erfolgreichen LIDL –Absolventen buchstäblich hinweggefegt werden.

Denn das LIDL-Studium ist nicht weniger, als ein Angriff auf eine vom realen Leben losgelöste Wissenschaft, die sich zunehmend nur noch um sich selbst dreht und sich von den Lebenswirklichkeiten der Menschen entfernt.

Doch die Konkurrenz von ALDI zieht nach und auch REWE wartet nun mit einem eigenen dualen Studium auf.

Böse Zungen mögen zwar behaupten, man bekäme künftig Credit-Points für seinen Bachelor an den Kassen der entsprechenden Märkte als Treueprämie, aber an diesen Gerüchten ist nichts dran.

Dumm, wer sich da noch sein Studium mit Arbeit an der Kasse eines Supermarktes (zur Spätschicht, dank ausgedehnter Ladenöffnungszeiten)  finanziert! Der Student von heute arbeitet nicht im Supermarkt; er studiert den Supermarkt und leistet so einen greifbaren Beitrag zu einer tiefgehenden und praktischen Analyse seiner eigenen Lebensumstände und unternimmt dabei erste Schritte, diese Lebensumstände als Führungskraft (z.B. bei LIDL) selbst zu ändern!

Also:

Studieren bei LIDL heißt, die Revolution leben!


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