Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Medienkompass – Rasen aus Spanien

“Wachstumsperspektiven” lieferte der Kapitalismus schon immer, aber jetzt soll das Spiel der freien Märkte auch noch gegen unser schlechtes Wetter helfen. “Die Sonne im Rucksack” und raus aus Griechenland lautet der Tip eines studierten Wirtschaftsfachmanns, nämlich vom gegenwärtigen Finanzminister Wolfgang Schäuble. Man könnte die Mittelmeerländer in die Energiewende integrieren, heißt der Grünen-kompatible, wohl ganz ernst gemeinte Vorschlag. „Griechenland hat eine viel höhere Anzahl von Sonnenstunden im Jahr als wir in Deutschland und könnte Strom zu uns exportieren“, sagte er der Wochenzeitung „Die Zeit“. „Die griechische Wirtschaft hätte damit ein wettbewerbsfähiges Exportgut, und ein begehrtes dazu.

Das Deutsche Institut für Wirtschaftsforschung (DIW) begrüßte das: „Die Idee ist gut, denn die Energiewende in Europa hin zu mehr erneuerbaren Energien kann nur gelingen, wenn alle EU Länder mitmachen. Das bedeutet, auch Solarstrom in Südeuropa wie in Griechenland wie auch Wind und Wasserstrom in Skandinavien zu nutzen

Rasen-Export

Was kann man da noch alles vermakten, man müsste vielleicht Herrn Hans-Werner Sinn aus München (Präsident des ifo Instituts für Wirtschaftsforschung) fragen, auch ein ausgewiesener Wirtschaftsfachmann: die Geld-Schwierigkeiten der Spanier ließen sich leicht beheben. Ihr genialer Fußball rührt vom Platz-Rasen her, also schnell viele Plätze unten anlegen, Barco drauf schicken und nach einer Runde ab gen Mitteleuropa. Schon wird das Spiel dort flüssiger, quasi mit Spaniens Sonne in den Pässen.

Nicht nur für Europa helfen solche Tips, die Financial Times bringt die Geistesblitze des Boulevardprofessors sogar mit Zentralafrika in Verbindung, und dem Kongo geht es nun seit Jahrzehnten echt schlecht. Und diesmal nicht die Löhne runter bei den Negern sondern: die Journalistin Andrea Böhm (auch von der Zeit) fand dort einen kleinen Jungen, der schon mit 7 Jahren General war (ja echt! siehe hier, S. 9). Schäuble und Sinn könnten nun als Exportschlager Militärhilfe für Berlin vorschlagen. Der inzwischen 12-jährige findet sicher einen guten Platz im Verteidigungsministerium, nach Guttenberg kann man sich vor Ort ja alles leisten. Es kann nur besser werden, und Knappheit an Militärspezialisten gibt es hier inzwischen wirklich. (Transfergeschäft ist auch möglich: vielleicht kann der Kleine dann den Belgiern bei ihrer Regierungskrise helfen, die haben wirklich noch was gut für da unten)

image_file_1785

Und das wäre vermutlich auch die Rettung für Portugal, nachdem Kanzlerin Merkel (Physikerin) den Isländern schon empfohlen hat, ihre kleine Insel im kalten Norden mit dem Verkauf von Packeis an die schwitzenden Öl-Saudis aus dem Finanzsturm zu schiffen (ach, das ist eigenlich in Grönland? Na auch wurscht, kaufen sie es halt den Eskimos ab) (oder war es das gelobte Irland, das jetzt nicht nur steuerfrei lebt, sondern auch blank ist? Pubs? Nee, darf man auch nicht mehr drin rauchen).

Die Portugiesen könnten jedenfalls aus ihren Kindergärten die ADS-Fälle nach Berlin delegieren: besser als die Trottel um das Kanzleramt herum können die es sicher. Und für die vielen Talkshows sind sie einfach ideal, ganz hip.

Was uns die Finanzkrisen so an Krisen in den Köpfen offenbaren!

P. S.: Leider hat Schäuble vergessen zu sagen, was die ganzen Retsina-Kneipen da unten machen sollen, wenn wegen der exportierten Sonne die Touristen ausbleiben. Auch schon in Rente gehen? Wird ja immer besser!


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