Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Genderneutrale Hymnen für Europa!

Alle meine Deutschen

Ich muss zugeben: Eigentlich sind mir Nationalhymnen scheißegal. Diese, meist musikalisch nicht einmal besonders herausragenden, Machwerke schmalztriefenden Pathos führen bei mir normalerweise nicht dazu, dass sich auch nur ein Sackhaar regt.
Von mir aus könnte die deutsche Nationalhymne auch der berühmte Kinderlied-Klassiker „Alle meine Entchen“ oder das legendäre „Hubba Hubba Zoot Zoot“ der Band Caramba sein. An den Lebensverhältnissen in Deutschland würde sich damit absolut gar nichts ändern.

Beide Lieder hätten gegenüber der gegenwärtigen Hymne allerdings gewaltige Vorteile:

Im Falle von „Alle meine Entchen“ könnte wahrscheinlich nicht einmal Sarah Connor den Text vergessen. Falls irgendwem da der Bezug zu Deutschland fehlt, könnte man doch einfach das Wort „Entchen“ durch „Deutsche“ ersetzen.
Das würde unseren armen Fußballern auch die Schmach verkürzen, so tun zu müssen, als würden sie die Hymne mitsingen und verkrampft künstlich ihre Lippen dazu zu bewegen.

Und man stelle sich einmal die Gesichter der gegnerischen Fans im Stadion bei der Fußball-EM vor, wenn das ganze deutsche Publikum aufsteht und mit feierlichem Ernst „Hubba Hubba Zoot Zoot“ ertönen lässt. Das würde auf den Gegner einschüchternder wirken, als der Haka der neuseeländischen Rugby-Nationalmannschaft.

Aber ich weiß: Nicht jeder gute Vorschlag ist durchsetzbar und die beiden vorgeschlagenen Hymnen würden wohl an den emotionalen Befindlichkeiten einer humorlosen und ewiggestrigen deutschen Öffentlichkeit scheitern. Darum sollte man vielleicht klein anfangen.

Wie wäre es mit einer gendergerechten Nationalhymne?
Oder wollen wir ewig hinter der Fortschrittlichkeit unseres kleineren Nachbarn Österreich hinterherhinken?
Denn die österreichische Nationalhymne gilt ab dem 01.01.2012 in ihrer modernisierten gendergerechten Fassung und als bekennender Linker finde ich Gendrifizierung im Gegensatz zu Gentrifizierung ziemlich gut.
Allerdings muss man natürlich sagen, dass sich die österreichische Bundeshymne wesentlich leichter umgestalten lässt.
Man tausche einfach die Zeile „Heimat bist du großer Söhne“ gegen „Heimat großer Töchter, Söhne“ und das Wort „Bruderchöre“ gegen „Jubelchöre“ – et voilà –man hat eine Hymne ohne Geschlechterdiskriminierung.
Klar, man könnte auch einfach in der deutschen Hymne das Wort „Vaterland“ durch „Mutterland“ ersetzen. Das wäre ein Anfang und bestimmt auch durchaus lustig. Aber so ganz gendergerecht wäre das ja auch nicht, n´ est-ce pas?

Viel besser wäre es aber etwas Kreatives und wirklich Genderneutrales daraus zu machen. Darum empfehle ich, das Wort „Vater“ in „Vaterland“ einfach durch das Wort „Dada“ zu ersetzen. Damit könnte man auch ein antifaschistisches Signal in die Welt hinaussenden indem man eine Kunstform, die von den Nazis als „entartet“ betrachtet wurde, in seiner Nationalhymne ehrt.
Ganz in diesem Geiste mache man dann aus „brüderlich“ einfach „bübalich“. Bei großen Veranstaltungen hört man den Unterschied ohnehin nicht.

Die Briten hingegen haben es einfacher als wir armen Kontinentalbewohner. Ihre Hymne lässt sich problemlos dem Geschlecht der/s amtierenden Monarch_In anpassen. Obwohl man natürlich anmerken muss, dass das männliche Geschlecht auf dem Königsthron dort in den letzten paar Jahren bedenklich unterrepräsentiert war, sind die Briten uns damit an Fortschrittlichkeit um Jahrzehnte voraus.

Bei uns anderen Europäern bedarf es dringend einer allgemeinen Nationalhymnenüberarbeitung.

Und da jedes große europäische Projekt die Zusammenarbeit zwischen Deutschland und Frankreich erfordert, wie die jüngste Geschichte eindrucksvoll gezeigt hat, warte ich nun darauf, dass auch die Franzosen in den Chor einfallen: „Allons enfants de la Matrie!“
Die Tatsache, dass sich die weibliche „citoyenne“ (also: Die Bürgerin) nicht so toll auf die „bataillons“ reimt, könnte außerdem die Möglichkeit bieten, diese militaristisch anmutende Passage ganz aus der französischen Nationalhymne zu streichen.
Schließlich retten die, die damals das „blutbefleckte Banner der Tyrannei“ gegen Frankreich erhoben haben, heute zusammen mit den Franzosen den Euro.


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    Dadaland? Ich bin dabei. Ich finde, das Pathetische an sich, und in einer Nationalhymne vor allem ist endlos lächerlich. Damit aber alles authentisch wirkt, braucht man auch die Avantgarde, sonst ist alles Rückwärts.

    Übrigens, die Musik in Hymnen ist auch so ne Sache. Die Melodien der Nationalhymnen der BRD und DDR sind ja bekanntlich gegeneinander austauschbar (wohl die Vorbereitungen auf die Vereinigung).

    Und in UdSSR=>Russland gab es drei Hymnen, die musikalisch identisch und inhaltlich fast identisch waren. Zuerst hat man Stalin rausgestrichen, dann Lenin, aber sonst hat sich nichts geändert.

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