Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Freie Ponies für alle!

Wenn ich als Präsident gewählt werde – bekommt jeder Amerikaner ein Pony.

So lautet wortwörtlich das Programm des US-Präsident-Kandidaten Vermin Supreme.
Der enigmatische Kandidat, der immer einen Schuh oder Gummistiefel auf dem Kopf trägt, steht zu seinem Programm.

vermin2

(Quelle: 1777.de)

Auf die Anfrage, ob sein Programm noch andere Punkte beinhält, antwortet er mit einem abrupten, ehrlichen “Nein”.

Wieso Pony?

* Pony ist Autonomie von jeglichen Auslands-Rohöhl-Importen
* Pony ist grüne Energie mit ökologisch wertvollen Kotverarbeitung
* Pony wird eine Ausweismöglichkeit bedeuten, denn nach dem Federal Pony Identification-Program soll jeder Amerikaner ein Pony stets mit sich haben.

Hier die ganze wunderbare Rede des Visionärs, inklusive ein Wahlkampagne-Lied und das Glitter-Bombing (Streuen des Glitters auf die homophoben Politiker), indem er Randall Terry, den kontroversen Gegner der Abtreibungen und gleichgeschlechtlichen Ehen - mit Glitter überstreute und verkündete, Jesus habe ihn gebeten, Terry zu einem Homosexuellen zu konvertieren.

Doch Pony ist – entgegen der eigenen Behauptung – nur eines von mehreren Wahlprogramm-Punkten: denn es geht um Zeitreisen sowie um Zombies als umweltbewusste Energiemassnahmen (indem sie durch die Hirne angelockt werden, die auf die riesigen Turbinen draufgehängt sind). Und auch die dentale Hygiene ist wichtig (“Strong Teeth for a Strong America”)

Vermin Supreme hat auch eine durchaus supreme Webseite:

http://www.verminsupreme.com/ (was sonst)

Hier wird sein ganzes Programm vorgestellt (wie beispielweise eine Vision, durch die Genspaltung eine Abart der Affen zu entwickeln, die als Zahnputz-Feen dienen können).

Und natürlich denjenigen, die Vermin Supreme in seinem bahnbrechenden Kopfbedeckungsstill nacheifern möchten, bietet er folgenden Film (in dem ein Gummi-Fabrikarbeiter an nichts anderes denkt, als nur an Gummi (Rubber Rubber)).

Vermin Supreme nahm an der Occupy-Bewegung teil und ist bereits seit 1988 politisch aktiv.

Es leben Ponies!


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