Frankfurter Gemeine Zeitung

Maximal bru-Thalia- Szenen aus dem verblödeten Leben

Ein Reisender hatte vergessen, sich Lesestoff für eine lange Bahnfahrt mitzunehmen. Also eilte er noch in die Bahnhofsbuchhandlung.
Dort ergab sich dann folgender (natürlich rein fiktiver) Dialog.

Reisender: Ich suche da ein Buch. Irgendwas Kurzweiliges für die Fahrt. Haben Sie Camus „Der Mythos des Sisyphos“?
Verkäuferin: Nein. Das haben wir leider nicht. Aber ich könnte es bestellen.
Reisender: Das hilft mir nicht. Ich bräuchte es jetzt. Haben Sie vielleicht Michail Bakunins „Gott und der Staat“?
Verkäuferin: Ich schaue mal nach… (tippt in ihren Computer) Ne, das haben wir nicht.
Reisender: Haben Sie dann vielleicht was von Hannah Arendt?
Verkäuferin: Hat die nicht dieses vegane Kochbuch geschrieben? Das haben wir vorrätig.
Reisender: Nein. Sie hat keine Kochbücher geschrieben. Eher über Philosophie und Geschichte…
Verkäuferin: Also bei Philosophie hätten wir nur Richard David Precht anzubieten. Und Geschichte? Da hätten wir ein Buch über Hitler von Guido Knopp.
Reisender: Was haben Sie denn sonst noch so?
Verkäuferin: Also wir hätten da Zeitschriften, Hobbyliteratur, Landkarten, Kochbücher, Lifestyle-Ratgeber, Gesundheitstips, Humor, Krimis… Aber wenn ich Ihnen persönlich eine Empfehlung aussprechen darf, wo sie doch was Kurzweiliges für die Fahrt suchen… wir hätten da „Hummeldumm“ von Tommy Jaud. Da habe ich mich beim Lesen totgelacht.
Reisender: (murmelt) Na das passt in Ihr Sortiment.
Verkäuferin: Wie bitte?
Reisender: Ich sagte „das will ich nicht mal geschenkt“.
Verkäuferin: Was darf´s denn dann sein? Wir hätten da auch Esoterik.
Reisender: Naja… Esoterik ist eigentlich nicht so meine Sache. Aber wenn Sie sonst nichts haben… und mit der richtigen kritischen Distanz gelesen, kann das ja vielleicht auch den Horizont erweitern. Haben Sie was von Helena Blavatsky?
Verkäuferin: Nein, leider nicht.
Reisender: Carlos Castaneda?
Verkäuferin: Nein, auch nicht.
Reisender: Aleister Crowley vielleicht?
Verkäuferin: Nein.
Reisender: Haben sie vielleicht irgendwelche Astro-Ratgeber?
Verkäuferin: Natürlich. Wir haben „12 Astro-Tipps für Ihre Gesundheit“, „Leben nach dem Kelten-Horoskop“, „Chinesische Horoskope zum Selbermachen“, „Profitipps von der Bild Astro-Spezialistin“, „Sternenkost- Essen nach den Tierkreiszeichen“, „Mit den Sternen zum Durchschlafen- 36 Tipps für Eltern von Schreikindern“, „Die Sternenpower für Ihre Karriere“, „Astrobusiness- Alte Weisheiten für modernes Management“, „Meine Glückssterne- Der schwule Astrologie-Ratgeber“, „Astro-Sex- 17 Ratschläge für Ihre Partnerschaft“, „Vedische Astrologie in sieben Tagen“, „Vorsprung durch Astrologie- Mit Motivation Krisen in Chancen verwandeln“, „Astrologie für Veganer“…
Reisender: Ok es reicht. Das war nur ein Test. Ich kaufe den Schlüsselanhänger da und ein Geo-Heft mit schönen Landschaftsbildern.
Verkäuferin: Tüte oder gehtso?
Reisender: Tüte bitte. Wiederschaun.
Verkäuferin: ´schüß.


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